Cus you say.

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Had never crossed your mind..

Sunday, April 11, 2010 @ 5:51 PM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.

Hello there!
It's been quite some time since i last blogged.
Finished watching G.O.S a few days back.
It was nice.
And during some parts of the show, i cried.
And last night i dreamt of my biological mom again.

But surprisingly i didn't cry and woke up from my sleep like how i used to always be.
I don't know why, but it really shocked me as well.
It feels like i've given up that hope i used to have in me, that hope that i once carried.
Now that i've let go of that, i felt much at ease.
Maybe that's the reason which has been bugging me throughout these years.

Now that i no longer pin on hopes on things which will never happen, i think it's maybe really time for me to move on?
If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.
I still do miss her, if there is an opportunity for us to meet again, i don't think i would want to acknowledge her as my mom anymore.
Cus someone like her does not deserve me to call her "mom/mommy".
And throughout these years, although i've been yearning to call her that, i've officially given up.
Because i've never crossed her mind like how she has always crossed my mind.
She must be living wealthily with her family and forgotten all about me.
Well, i don't want to ask for more.

I just hope and wish that i can stay with Dad, staying by his side, it makes me feel really fortunate.
Although he's not good at words, but throughout these years under his care and love, i've grown up healthily and strong.

All those sacrifices he made just for me, i would never forget that.
I may be a disappointment in his eyes, and those around me.
But i've already chosen this path, chosen to be in this industry.
I won't let you down.
Please give me this chance to prove myself.
I know it's hard for you to believe that i'll do well, and i clearly know that there are much more people with much better skills than i do.
But im not gonna give up nor give in to any of these reasons/excuses to beat me down.

I've been sucha let down to you, not good in academic, get into troubles in the past, give you nothing but troubles one after another.
I've grown up now, i believe in the decision i made and please belive in me as well.
Give me a chance to make you proud.

I LOVE YOU ALOT, DAD!

No words can describe nor represent how much I Love You.

Although to you, i look expression-less/emotion-less, but i will work hard to give you the best in life in the near future.
I will repay for what you've done for me all these years.

(: