Cus you say.

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Do buddies stay together when they go through hard times?

Monday, September 29, 2008 @ 8:37 PM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.

This post is meant for my buddy, I know you'll read my blog that's why I post it here.

To you, I may seem like I don't care but that's not true. You know me very well although sometimes we can't get along with the way we think. But to you, did you really treat me as your buddy/bestfriend? I would admit here that I like to whack you somehow but you know it's a joke then why put it in your heart? Although you don't show but I can tell.

I trust you so much but you left me in silence and stab me behind my back.

You didn't hear my explanation and go by biaseness. What kind of buddy are you?

I know I got many flaws which I need to improve too. I don't know how to say this but I'm really really disappointed in you. Amongst you, C and AC, you're the one whom I will not FORGIVE.

But it also doen't mean I will forgive them. Don't act generous in front of me, please lah. So fake!

Create another blog and spam me thought I don't know ar? Go around telling schoolmates about me, you think I can be defeated by all these? Do what you can and all you can cause soon enough you will gonna get it. By the way I'm not trying to threaten you or whatsoever. It's alright, you guys can continue doing what you're doing now. Stop acting like you're scared and innocent cause you are just the opposite of this. Believe me after exam sure got "problem" wan.

Seriously try me if you want, this is so challenging, I'm waiting for all your tricks.

Please stop smiling to me cus the sight of you all makes me hate you! Through this, I've also learnt that who are the ones who stand by me no matter what I did, they accepted me the way I am. Do you know I was blinded by the past friendship with you guys and neglecting the rest who stood by me no matter what happens?
Do you know sometimes I tried very hard to fit in with you guys?
But no matter how hard I try or what I do, you just can't see it.
Every little thing like this, have you ever noticed it?
It's tiring, really.. Getting out of your clique allows me to be who I really am and I don't need to pretend to do things which I don't want to. I had enough of all these. Sacrificed my brother just to be with you all an hour or so. I got strict curfews and you know that, sometimes I just wanna get out of the house just to spend a moment with you guys.

You said you understand, but did you ever? Or say it for the sake of saying it to comfort me?

I know it's weak to say this, sometimes when I need someone to cry my sorrows with, I feel that you're just not really listening although you are holding onto the phone. You don't understand how I feel yet you say you do. Missed the times we shared but moments of hapiness doesn't last.

I once wrote to you, not long ago that I don't know how am I suppose to live without you guys because friends are the greatest joy in my life. You all are my best friends but I do have other best friends in other clique, when they tend to ask us whether wanna sit with them, I agreed, but when I ask you guys, you all tend to give me kind of attitude. I don't want to reject them nor you guys, but it's really very hard. Do you really understand?! I'm not chosing anybody over who, I've been giving them empty promises and it makes me feel very bad. Because they might think I'm rejecting them or forgets everything about them.
Alright, it's a very pissed off thing.