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XIN YING ▼ "Born to live, live to dream, and dream to live." Took my first breath in this world on 22/April/1993. My current course in ITE: Hair Fashion & Design. Inspired to become the best Hairdresser, prove those wrong right. Music fills my days. Friends are my life, without them, my days are meaningless and dull. I'm someone whose straightforward and HATE Homophobics. Don't judge me before you even get to know me This is where i write how i feel,perhaps from here you may get to know me more? I Suck at expressing, so therefore this is the only place which i blog how i feel. Cus everytime i try, i get tongue tied. I don't lead an interesting life, just very ordinary. But i have a dream, that dream rides me to different vitality, challenging and extraordinary. Know me, and you'll know how it goes. I don't entertain haters here, so if you've got to the wrong site, just simply click the close button. "It's foolish to be obsessed with past failures. And it's just as foolish to be self-satisfied with one's small achievements." FORMSPRING
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» IF YOU THINK THE WHOLE WORLD HAS GIVEN UP ON YOU T...» 2NE1 » Die, tomorrow HAIRCUTTING PRACTICAL EXAM!Damn damn... » BEI YI AND ME! ^^Skipped school the other day, acc... » hello, it's me blogging again.Just a brief summary... » Whatever It Takes » 24th August:Worked today, was neutral.Love the tim... » Hi, it's me blogging again.Recently active bloggin... » Still Not The End Of It.. » Didn't go to work today.Waited for his call.Kept t... archives.
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SCREW YOU HARD
Sunday, September 26, 2010 @ 1:32 AM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
FUCK LUH!YAH YOU ARE RIGHT! WHATEVER I'VE SAID, IT'S ALL UNTRUE! DO YOU THINK I GOT THAT SUM OF MONEY TO PURCHASE A F1 TICKET?! DO YOU THINK I WOULD WANT TO SPENT THAT MONEY ON THAT TICKET?! IT'S FREE OKAY! MY CUSTOMER GAVE IT TO ME! YOU DON'T BELIEVE, GO MY WORKPLACE AND ASK! THERE IS EVEN CAMERA, IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE, I REQUEST TO REPLAY IT FOR YOU! I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT EITHER! I THOUGHT THAT CUSTOMER WAS JUST PLAYING A PRANK ON ME, BUT IT'S NOT! HE ASKED ME TO TAKE IT, AS THEY ARE GOING BACK TO THEIR COUNTRY AFTER THE RACE! I'VE SMS-ED YOU THIS " Hey mommy, im at F1 race here. Got free ticket from my customer. Am watching the concert, i will be home late. help me pass the message to dad. my prepaid no more balance. this is the last text i can send. " DID YOU EVEN TELL DAD?!!! FUCK YOU SIA! YOU EVEN SCREAM AT ME WHEN I OPEN THE DOOR! YEAH, ME AND BEI YI TOOK CAB, SHE'S PAYING FOR ME FIRST! AND YOU SAID "WAH NOW RICH ALREADY LUH, TAKE CAB HOME". AND YOU WITHOUT EVIDENCE CAN SAY THAT I PURCHASE THAT TICKET! AND ACCUSING ME OF, "EATING DINNER AT HOME THESE FEW DAYS SO THAT I CAN SAVE UP TO BUY A TICKET?!!!" SCREW YOUR BRAINS LUH! I TAKE EITHER LUNCH OR DINNER AT HOME IS BECAUSE DAD ASKED ME TO! IF YOU ARE SO CALCULATIVE, LET ME COUNT FOR YOU, THE TIMES OF DINNER AND LUNCH I HAD AT HOME! MONDAY: LESSON CANCELLED, ATE OUTSIDE TUESDAY: WENT TO SCHOOL, AFTER THAT WORK WEDNESDAY: NEVER GO SCHOOL, WENT FOR WORK, TOOK LUNCH AT HOME. [1] THURSDAY: WENT OUT TO MEET SOPHIA AFTER SCHOOL, TOOK DINNER OUTSIDE FRIDAY, SKIPPED SCHOOL, TOOK LUNCH AT HOME BEFORE GOING TO WORK. [1] AND HOW MUCH CAN I SAVE JUST BY TAKING LUNCH TWO TIMES AT HOME?! MY ALLOWANCE IS NOT EVEN ENOUGH TO PAY 3/4 OF THE TICKET! KPKB FOR WHAT?! MOM: YOU[ME] TELL DAD LUH, THAT THE TICKET IS FREE! ONLY HE WILL BELIEVE YOU! ME: DON'T WORRY, I WILL TELL HIM, YOU DONT BELIEVE YOU CAN COME TO MY WORKPLACE AND ASK IF THE TICKET WAS FROM MY CUSTOMER. YEAH, ONLY YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME! WHATEVER I SAY, YOU NEVER BELIEVED, NEVER ONCE AND NEVER STILL! HAH! YOU SAY I KEEP SPENDING MONEY, BUT LOOK AT YOURSELF BEFORE SAYING OTHERS LUH! TODAY YOU ALL WENT SHOPPING, ME AND DAD WORKING, YOU ALL ENJOYING WHILE ME AND DAD WORK OUR ASS OFF! PHONE BILL IS ON ME, SO YOU CALL AS MUCH AS YOU WANT! ELECTRICITY AS WELL! IM WORKING MY ASS OUT, JUST WANNA GET SOMETHING I WANT, I CAN'T EVEN BUY! MY SHOES ARE TORN, YOU SAID IT'S A WASTE OF MONEY IF I GET A NEW PAIR. SO I DIDN'T. MY SISTER'S SHOES IS STILL BRAND NEW, YOU CALL IT OLD. AND YOU SAID I'VE GOT MANY PAIRS OF SHOES! TELL YOU WHAT MOTHERFUCKER, IN THE SHOE CABINET, I ONLY GOT 2 BLOODY PAIRS OF SHOES! ONE FOR SCHOOL AND ANOTHER FOR OUTSIDE WEAR. YOU CALL THAT MANY? THEN WHAT'S YOURS? YOUR SHOES FILL THE WHOLE CABINET! SISTER HARDLY GOES OUT, YOU KEEP BUYING HER CLOTHES AND SHOES, IN THE END SHE ONLY WORE IT ONCE OR NEVER! AND IF I PURCHASE SOMETHING, I WORE IT, AND YOU DIDN'T SEE IT, YOU SAID IM WASTING MONEY CUS I NEVER WEAR! WTF! IT'S ALWAYS A WASTE WHEN IT COMES TO ME! BE IT HAVING TUITION OR ANYTHING! I HATE YOU, I SERIOUSLY HATE YOU! LIKE HOW YOU HATE ME TOO! YOU CAN'T WAIT FOR ME TO GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE, SO DO I. BUT NO MATTER HOW MUCH I DETEST STAYING IN HERE, I GOT TO. CUS I GOT NOWHERE TO STAY OTHERWISE. I GOTTA BE SMART TO DEAL WITH YOU. I'VE BEEN TOLERATING AND TOLERATING. FOR 13 YEARS. WHEN DOES IT COMES TO AN END? I'M REALLY SICK AND TIRED OF ENTERTAINING YOU AND YOUR NONSENSE. YOU ASKED ME FOR A REASON, I GAVE YOU MY REASON, AND YOU DON'T EVEN WANT TO LISTEN! WHAT IM GIVING YOU IS A REASON, NOT AN EXCUSE! SO CHECK YOUR DICTIONARY BEFORE COMING HERE AND ARGUE WITH ME! HAD FUN AT THE CONCERT, AND WHEN I REACHED HOME, YOU JUST HAVE TO RUIN IT. YOU JUST HAVE TO. AND THIS IS THE FIRST TIME OF MY LIFE, I HAD BEEN TO A CONCERT! IT'S SO HARD, ESPECIALLY WANTING UNDERSTANDING FROM PARENTS. CUS THEY NEVER UNDERSTAND. MY DAD IS ANOTHER ONE. CARES ONLY FOR MY RESULT AND THE COMPANY I MIX/HANG OUT WITH. HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING, BE IT IN SCHOOL/HOME OR EVEN ME. SOMETIMES[HARDLY], WHEN I GOT TIME ALONE WITH HIM, I REALLY WANTED TO TELL HIM, I WANT TO LEAVE HOME, I REALLY HATE IT HERE. BUT AS I LOOK AT HIM, I JUST FAIL TO SAY THESE WORDS, CUS THIS WOULD HURT HIM ALOT. JUST HOLD BACK MY WORDS, AND HOLD BACK MY TEARS. SOMETIMES I CAN BE SELFISH, BUT IN THE END I CAN'T. I TRIED TO BE THE BEST OF I CAN, BUT YOU NEVER SEE IT. WHENEVER I TRY, WHATEVER I DO, I CAN NEVER SATISFY YOU. I'M NOT GOOD, THAT'S WHY IM TRYING TO IMPROVE TO BE A BETTER ME. BUT YOU.. JUST DON'T SEE IT.. DAD, IM REALLY REALLY TIRED OF LIVING MY LIFE SOMETIMES. AND ENDING IT HAS REALLY CROSSED MY MIND. IN THIS HOUSE, THERE'S NO ONE TO TALK TO, NOT TO EVEN MENTION MY SIBLINGS. NOR MAID. I JUST CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY DAD CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY I DISLIKE GOING HOME. YES, AT HOME THERE'S COMPUTER. IT'S JUST COMPUTER. WHAT I NEED FROM HOME IS NOT THIS, IT'S YOUR UNDERSTANDING AND RESPECT TOWARDS ME. HOME, SOUNDS SO WARM, SUPPOSE TO FEEL WARM AND WELCOMING. BUT EACH TIME I HEAR IT, IT'S SOUND/FEEL SO COLD AND UN-WELCOMING. everytime when things doesn't go right, you push the blame on me. when home is in financial crisis, i didn't hesitate and just let you use the money in my bank. when dad is not around, i stay calm to calm you down even though im freaking out. when you are not in good mood, you scream at me. and when you're in good mood, you treat me like your own. you're just like the unpredictable weather. im younger than you, but having the role of being stronger than anyone else. at times, when everyone is asleep, i cry myself to sleep. no one knows. cus when i wake up in the morning, i would most probably be wear out from crying or just trying to forget whatever that has happened. I try to keep a smile, i try to be happy. I know things, but i act like i don't. Many things are bothering me, but i act like nothing is. THIS IS ME. the mask i have to put on everyday, till i don't know how to take it off nor shed this away. Now i come to realise, friends are just friends. Used to feel that, friends are always there. Never did i thought that, it's just words that comes out from their mouth is what that is remain and only what i could remember and hold onto. But i guess, i just have to let it go and forget it cus In reality, it's always alone. |