Cus you say.

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Friday, December 25, 2009 @ 11:07 PM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.

Sometimes, i just hope you understand me, understand how i feel like the way how i try to understand you.
You said "im unfillial, not understanding and all these kind of things"
Just look, if im unfillial, I won't even bother to give you all those money i earned for this family!!!

I had never asked you for anything..
I just hope you understand me.
Please stop making things hard for me.
I really had enough of it!

And i'm just merely asking you whether can i buy a new computer next year using my savings,
you had to pick a fight!
I'm asking dad not YOU!

You saw how my computer lags, you saw how many times it had broke down and how many freaking times i sent it for repair!
This computer isn't just one or two years already, it nine years!
FREAKING NINE YEARS!
You ask me to put up with this, im okay.
But why to you have to make things hard by interferring in and say "see, you want to spend money again, always use the money to buy you own, still don't know how to think and all"
You said your com cost about just $700-800.
And now when i say i want to buy a new com, you said it's over a thousand plus!

You don't allow me to buy it, everything NO.
I might as well give you my whole bank account!
You are always never satisfied for what i've done.
No matter how much i give in to you, you never seem to appreciate it at all!
Okay, let's forget about the computer thing.
Other than that, im grounded, i can't even go out with my friends!
You said i'm always going out.
Just look at how many times have i gone out after i quitted my job?!
Not more than five, i dare to tell you that!
I feel very bad by rejecting my friends when they ask me out as well!
They are my friends, you have friends too.
Shouldn't you be able to understand how i feel?
You are right, i love my friends more than family!
Because of you, i'm like this!

You are always using threatening words to me,
it's because dad loves you that's why i've kept mum and continue living in this house.
Because i don't want to see my dad get hurt, that's why im putting up with you!
And because I respect you, as a "mom" and as my dad's women.

You are always saying things which aren't true to me and to others, making me like a damn fuckin' fool!
I can't believe im saying words like this, words which are selfish.
I never wanted to be this way, but what can i do when im in these kind of situations.
I'm so sorry.
And i know as an oldest among siblings i should be taking care of them and providing this family.
Yes, i did. But whenever im close to brother, you would void him away from me.
That's how the space between got further!
Don't you blame me for that!

Dad: im sorry, i know it's hard for you as well.
But i hope in the future i won't let you down.
I'm not gonna let anyone look down on us.