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XIN YING ▼ "Born to live, live to dream, and dream to live." Took my first breath in this world on 22/April/1993. My current course in ITE: Hair Fashion & Design. Inspired to become the best Hairdresser, prove those wrong right. Music fills my days. Friends are my life, without them, my days are meaningless and dull. I'm someone whose straightforward and HATE Homophobics. Don't judge me before you even get to know me This is where i write how i feel,perhaps from here you may get to know me more? I Suck at expressing, so therefore this is the only place which i blog how i feel. Cus everytime i try, i get tongue tied. I don't lead an interesting life, just very ordinary. But i have a dream, that dream rides me to different vitality, challenging and extraordinary. Know me, and you'll know how it goes. I don't entertain haters here, so if you've got to the wrong site, just simply click the close button. "It's foolish to be obsessed with past failures. And it's just as foolish to be self-satisfied with one's small achievements." FORMSPRING
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» Hey peeps!It has been awhile since i've last blogg...» HEY YO! » SICK + » C.N.Y~ » IT HURTS, CUS IT MEANS. » I've changed, i'm no longer who i used to be.I don... » S.T.A.Y » Million Miles Away » Hello peeps!How's life? 2011 is here, hopefully it... » MBLAQ: CRY archives.
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Saturday, February 19, 2011 @ 12:07 AM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
WTH.I'M DAMN PISSED RIGHT NOW. GRANDPA IN HOSPITAL, NOT IN VERY GOOD CONDITION. THAT STUPID WOMEN HAVE TO COME PICK A FIGHT! DAMN FUCKIN' PISSED! I SIGN MOBILE PLANS, YOU GOT PROBLEM IS IT?! I'VE BEEN USING PREPAID FOR SO MANY YEARS, NOW THAT I CAN PAY WHY CAN'T I SIGN THE PLAN?! IT'S NOT LIKE IM ASKING YOU TO PAY! __ YEAH SO WHAT IF IM PAID $4O A DAY AT MY CURRENT JOB. I'M WORKING MY ASS OFF AND YOU ARE ENJOYING YOURSELF AT HOME?! HOW OLD ARE YOU?! HOW OLD AM I?! EVERYDAY AT HOME WATCH TV, ENJOY YOUR TAI TAI LIFE! STILL NAG AT ME, SAYING I WASTE MONEY?! TELL ME WHAT AM I WASTING ON?! CUS I HAVEN'T BEEN HELPING OUT WITH FAMILY FINANCE THAT'S WHY YOU'RE LIKE THIS RIGHT?! KEEP SAYING YOU'RE LOOKING FOR JOB! FOR A YEAR, STILL LOOKING?! YOU CAN TAKE ANY JOB WHICH PAYS QUITE WELL! BUT YOU SAID, YOUR LEG HURT AND CAN'T STAND LONG! I BEG OF YOU LUH! I WORK IN SALON I STAND WHOLE DAY! DID I COMPLAIN OR NOT?! YOU ALWAYS COMPLAIN ABIT PAIN ABIT PAIN! TELL YOU WHAT, LIVING WITH YOU ARE THE MOST PAINFUL TIME IN MY LIFE! THANKS TO YOU! I BEG OF YOU, IF YOU DONT TREAT ME AS YOUR OWN, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!~ YOU SAID IM JUST ANOTHER BURDEN TO DAD? DON'T SAY THAT WHEN HE HIMSELF DID NOT SAY THAT TO ME! I KNOW MY POSITION, SO SHOULD YOU. DON'T COME ACTING ALL GOOD THIS MOMENT, MAKING ME BELIEVE YOU REALLY MEAN IT THEN BECOME A TOTAL BITCH THE NEXT MOMENT! WAS IT MY WISHFUL THINKING THAT I THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT THAT YOU ARE TREATING ME AS YOUR OWN? SO FUCKING FUCKED UP! __________________________________________________________________ i'm really down right now, don't have the mood to laugh or smile. i want to cry to my heart's content, cus it hurts, it hurts alot. one major thing that's on my mind is my grandpa. second is my family. third is friends. my grandpa is in ICU right now, visited him today, the moment i looked at him, my heart sank i couldn't help but cry. what else can i do? i felt really useless.. everyone said, "cheer up", "pray for him", "he will be fine" i know you all are trying to console me, trying to cheer me up but im sorry, it doesn't cheer me up not because i don't want but i can't.. secondly, sometimes i wish a family is a family. i always feel left out. be it outside together or just having a simple meal together! why? sometimes i try to start a conversation, it's always cut off. you all think you know me, but the fact is you don't know me AT ALL! you said im a bad kid, but can't you see im trying my best to be the best of what i can? i made mistakes, i've changed, but you don't see it. why~? i'm always looking out for you all, but did you ever look out for me? i'm there to take the blame, even when im not the culprit. do you even appreciate it? if you can't handle me, let me go don't tie me down like this, cus it's killing me third, friends. there are many, but only a few are true. why am i always the one trying to organise an outing/meet-ups? yet people couldn't make it, like they are always never free . if you ask me why, all i can say that i'm selfish because i miss you all too much. that will be my answer. but i don't know if your answer would be the same as mine. i don't know whether you all still put this friendship in your heart, i know all of us has our things to do and have new friends. but please let me know if you don't, so i don't cling onto this friendship so close to my heart. and making me think we still have it when we actually don't. Don't come telling me "i miss you" and all when you all don't mean it from the bottom of your heart. It's so fake, it doesn't needs to be fake, genuine is all i ask for. Don't come saying "you are always busy/you MIA" to me, cus i did make the effort to meet up and organise outings and such, but it's not my problem when you are the one who can't make it. I did asked for free days to fit into everyone's schedule. Don't worry, if you all don't like it, please just tell me. Don't let me make a fool out of myself. And i won't waste time on planning either. |