Nuffnang; Click the ad below!(:
|
profile.
 " align="left">
XIN YING ▼ "Born to live, live to dream, and dream to live." Took my first breath in this world on 22/April/1993. My current course in ITE: Hair Fashion & Design. Inspired to become the best Hairdresser, prove those wrong right. Music fills my days. Friends are my life, without them, my days are meaningless and dull. I'm someone whose straightforward and HATE Homophobics. Don't judge me before you even get to know me This is where i write how i feel,perhaps from here you may get to know me more? I Suck at expressing, so therefore this is the only place which i blog how i feel. Cus everytime i try, i get tongue tied. I don't lead an interesting life, just very ordinary. But i have a dream, that dream rides me to different vitality, challenging and extraordinary. Know me, and you'll know how it goes. I don't entertain haters here, so if you've got to the wrong site, just simply click the close button. "It's foolish to be obsessed with past failures. And it's just as foolish to be self-satisfied with one's small achievements." FORMSPRING
previous.
» Wrecked» WTH.I'M DAMN PISSED RIGHT NOW.GRANDPA IN HOSPITAL,... » Hey peeps!It has been awhile since i've last blogg... » HEY YO! » SICK + » C.N.Y~ » IT HURTS, CUS IT MEANS. » I've changed, i'm no longer who i used to be.I don... » S.T.A.Y » Million Miles Away archives.
affiliates.
|
It's getting harder..
Thursday, February 24, 2011 @ 9:27 PM | 0 comment(s) | add a comment.
Today I received a bad news, a call from my dad regarding my grandpa..He said he couldn't make it already.. Just back from visiting, doctor said he's left with a few more days. He's now breathing through the pipe, doctor said it's only temporary.. Went into his ward, my dad was there. Grandpa was awake, I've got so many things that I want to tell him, I talked to him privately. I known he has alot to tell me too. But, He can't speak a word, all he can do was nod or shake his head.. So many things to bother and worry about. I don't know if I can handle it, I was strong but now.. All I can say is that, I don't know how to be strong again. I know people dies some day, I know life is full of unpredictions I know things only gets harder, Never easy. If you ask me to pray, I will, but why doesn't God answer my prayer? Why doesn't He answer my question? Dear god, I don't know what's all these for, Things hit me so sudden. That I couldn't and don't know how to react to it anymore. I really couldn't find the strength to stay strong, No reason to be happy. The laughter and smile I put on my face was to not let those around me worry. I take the longest route way home after school, I thought about what I should do, how to handle it. But it's so empty. Is it empty thoughts? Or there isn't any answer to it? Three more days, Or within these few days, My grandpa gonna leave here to another world. Leaving me here. I know it's hard to breathe through pipes, eat and drink thru pipes inserted into the stomach. I just can't bear to say goodbye, I can't bid him goodbye.. While dad drove me home, he talked about the happenings at home. He asked me to give in, asked me to be good, asked me to do things that I could no longer take in anymore. I tried explaining, but did you listen? No dad. You didn't. All you did was wanting me to listen to you, Have you ever thought of my feelings? Do you know what happened? I told you I was chased out, how could you say let it be? If you're really gonna ask me to let it be, Let me go. I've gave in all my life, I take whatever shut she did to me I kept quiet all along, and when I tell you What did you say? Asking me to give in? Not that I dont want to, but don't you think it's really absurd? I'm really speechless.. I can say a thousand time that I'm really tired and had enough of these but it could never be measured to the amount of tiredness I have. Right now, I'm below my house. Blogging through my phone, cus I really don't want to go home. Each time when I have to go home, I drag my leg and dread my soul. Never thought going home would be so hard. I don't expect you to dote on me nor love me. I don't expect you to do anything for me. Just respect me If you want me to respect you. I can forgive all that you've done to me, just don't go hurting the ones I love. My dad. That's all I ask for. Labels: If only one could stop.. |